Communicating Emotions (Part 4)

Getting  Upset in Italian —  Turbato and Sconvolto

Many scenarios, either real or imagined, can prompt a feeling of concern. In short, in life there are many reasons for us to get upset, and we often try to get advice or find solace by speaking with another. In Italian, there are many ways to convey the emotions we feel when we get worried and upset. Therefore, we must learn to think in Italian if we are to communicate our emotions in Italian!

In our last blog in this series about how to express emotions in Italian, “Talking About Emotions,” we discussed how an Italian might describe feeling worried. This blog will cover the mix of feelings one experiences when he or she is “upset,” and how to talk about these feelings in Italian.

The word “upset” covers a wide range of emotions in English. In Italian, on the other hand, there are two nouns and many adjectives and verbs that  more specifically describe the spectrum of feelings experienced when one becomes “upset.”

For instance, one Italian noun that describes a general feeling of being unsettled in one’s emotions, or upset, is il turbamento. If something unexpected and truly serious has happened, Italians may refer to their feeling as “lo choc.”  The spelling is borrowed from French, and the word is pronounced in all three languages like the English word shock; alternatively,  Italians may borrow the English spelling for “lo shock.”   To be “under shock” is “sotto shock”  in Italian. For a situation that is shocking, use the Italian adjective scioccante.  In a similar vein, Italians have adopted “lo stress” as a valid reason to be upset.

Two adjectives an Italian might use to describe feeing upset, with an underlying feeling of unhappiness are: triste (sad/melancholy) and dispiaciuto(a) (sorrowful due to a regret). Disperato(a) is an Italian adjective for when one is upset and sad with  feelings of despair.

If one is so upset as to be agitated by a variety of distressing emotions, this can be expressed with the Italian adjectives agitato(a) and  turbato(a), which relay a combination of the English adjectives shaken, distraught, and distressed. 

Finally, if a serious accident or other tragedy has occurred, especially if unexpected or shocking, Italians would describe a strong emotional response to the situation using the adjective sconvolto(a). Although a simple English translation is very upset, to an Italian the meaning of sconvolto(a) is stronger, more similar to a combination of  shaken, distraught, and distressed, often with an added element of shock. 

 

Some examples:

Sono sconvolto(a) perché ho sentito della tradegia nella sua famiglia.
I am very upset because I heard about the tragedy in your family.

Marco è rimasto sconvolto quando il fuoco ha distrutto la sua casa.
Mark became/was upset/inconsolable when the fire destroyed his house.

Loro sono rimasti sconvolti dopo aver visto la scena della guerra.
They became/were upset/shocked/distressed after they saw the war scene.

 

To anger (arrabbiare) or to get angry (arrabbiarsi) is often a part of the spectrum of emotions experienced when one is upset.  The adjective to describe the feeling of anger is arrabbiato(a).

There is an Italian phrase, “Sono fuori di me,” which loosely translates into the English phrase, “I am beside myself.” This Italian phrase suggests one is worried, sad, angry, and at a loss for what to do next.

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If something or someone is making a person upset, there are four Italian verbs that describes the action “to upset someone:“  agitare, turbare,  sconvolgere, scioccare. The past participles of three of these verbs (agitato, turbato, sconvolto) have already been introduced in the last section, as they do double duty as adjectives. If the name of the person under discussion has already been mentioned, an Italian direct object pronoun (lo/la — him/her) may be used with these verbs to avoid repetition. 

Agitare and turbare are regular -are verbs in the present tense. The past participles are also regular, and as noted in the prior section, the past participle for agitare is agitato and the past participle for turbare is turbato.

Sconvolgere is a regular -ere verb in the present tense. The past participle is irregular, and as already noted, is sconvolto.

Scioccare has an irregular stem in the present tense (see table below). The past participle is regular, and is scioccato.

Scioccare Present Tense
io	sciocco
tu	sciocchi
Lei, lei, lui	sciocca
noi	sciocchiamo
voi	scioccate
loro	scioccano

 

Examples that use agitare, turbare, scioccare, and sconvolgere in the present tense:

Non mi piace guardare il telegiornale. Le notizie mi agitano spesso.
I don’t like to watch the news on TV. The news often upsets me.

La sua mamma lo turba quando gli fa molte domande.
His mother upsets him when when she asks him a lot of questions.

I terremoti ci scioccano sempre; il primo è lo stesso di quelli che seguono.
Earthquakes always upset/shock us; the first is the same as those that follow.

Ho scoperto che il mio fidanzato ha un’altra. Il matrimonio è annulato.  Questo mi sconvolge moltissimo!
I discovered that my fiancé has another. The wedding is off. This upsets me very much! (I am so upset!)

 

We often need to ask another if they are upset with us. In this situation, the verb arrabiare, which also means to be angry,  is often used.  This question can also be asked using the  phrase [avercela + con + qualcuno]. The prepositions and objects in a pronominal verb serve to change the meaning of the main verb. The phrase above using avercela means to be upset or angry, “have it in” for someone. For pronominal verbs that end in -cela,  simply conjugate the main verb (in this case avere into the “you” who may be upset) and put ce and la before the verb: “Ce la hai con me?” =  “Ce l’hai con me?” “Are you upset with me?”

A summary of the above examples plus one more:

Sei arraibato(a) con me?
Are you upset with me?

Ce l’hai con me?
Are you upset with me?

Ce l’ho con me stesso!
I am upset with myself!

Perhaps you were upset with someone but are not upset anymore. Then answer the above question with:
Non sono più agitato(a)/ turbato(a) da te.
I’m not upset with you any more.

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Use [essere + agitato(a)/turbato(a)/sconvolto(a) + per] to relate getting upset about someone or something.  Notice from our last blog about emotions that the preposition per is also used to describe worrying about something.

Maria era agitata per il compartamento del suo amico.
Maria was upset about her friend’s actions.

Sono turbato per mia anziana mamma; lei è caduta è in ospitale di nuovo!
I am upset about my elderly mother; she fell and is in the hospital again!

Lui è sconvolto per la rapina a casa sua ieri sera. 
He is very upset about the robbery at his house last night. 

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The reflexive verbs arrabbiarsi, seccarsi, or alterarsi, mean “to get upset.”  (Remember that reflexive verbs are used to convey the idea of “to get,” from our blog, “How to say, ‘Get…’ in Italian.”) Interestingly, these Italian reflexive verbs focus on the reason why someone is upset, and the non-reflexive verbs described in the previous section are used to describe the actual feeling of being upset.

The primary definition of the verb arrabbiarsi is to get angry.  If using arrabbiarsi, it should be assumed that anger is a part of the  complex of emotions being described underlying the reason for why one has become upset.

Alterarsi also has the connotation of getting angry (or in a more vulgar definition “pissed off”), as well as being irritated, which can be considered as part of the over-all picture of getting upset.

The primary definition of seccarsi is to annoy, bother, disturb.  Therefore, if using seccarsi to describe getting upset, it can be assumed that one is becoming upset because another is disturbing him or her. 

 

Alterarsi is conjugated as a regular -are verb in the present tense. The past participle is also regular, and is alterato.

Arrabbiarsi is an irregular -iare verb in the present tense in the tu and noi forms due to an irregular stem. This leaves only one “i” in the ending. This is a common variation for many -iare verbs, as discussed in the book Conversational Italian for Travelers Just the Verbs. See the table below. The past participle is regular, and is arrabbiato.

io	mi arrabbio
tu	ti arrabbi
Lei, lei, lui	si arrabbia
noi	ci arrabbiamo
voi	vi arrabbiate
loro	si arrabbiano

Seccarsi is an irregular -care verb, since an “h” is added to the stem so the sound of the root verb stays the same for all conjugations.  This is a common variation for many -care verbs that is also discussed in the book Conversational Italian for Travelers Just the Verbs.  See the table below. The past participle is regular, and is seccato.

io	mi secco
tu	ti secchi
Lei, lei, lui	si secca
noi	ci secchiamo
voi	vi seccate
loro	si seccano

Below are some examples using the verbs that convey “getting upset.”

Mi arrabbio quando tu mi dici così.
I get angry/upset when you talk to me like that.

Lo so che tu sei molto arrabbiata, ma per piacere, ascoltami!
I know that you are very angry/upset, but please, listen to me!

Ora comincio a seccarmi! Ti sei perso! Perché ti ho seguito?
Now I am starting to get annoyed/upset! You are lost! Why did I follow you?

Mio fratello piccolo mi fa alterare molto! Lui è sempre tra i piedi!
My little brother irritates/upsets me a lot! He is always under foot!

Remember the ways to describe
getting upset in Italian
for those days when you need someone to give you a hand!